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Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
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What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing. They were both stuck-up bitches
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What do you call low income housing for midgets?
Stay Free Mini Pads.
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I was working in the yard one day and this gorgeous blonde drove by in a convertible.
A few minutes later she drove by again... but this time she waved.
A few minutes later she drove by again, The thought hit me she might be flirting with me.
A few minutes later... same thing. So I walked out to the street to stop he the next time she came by.
Sure enough... a few minutes later... here she comes. So I wave for her to stop. And she does.
So I asked her, “I noticed you keep driving by my house. Do you need something?”
She answered, “Oh no. My blinker is stuck.”
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Hey Oblina.......lets go jack some foo's
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Or in Carson if you got the camera..
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Lol@ grumpy!
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here's your lotus
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What's the difference between eating a girl out and driving in the fog?
Driving in the fog you cant see the asshole in front of you.
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Why do women have legs? So they dont leave trail residue like snails.
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What's a Blonde's mating call? "I'm so drunk"
What's a Brunette's mating call? "Are all the Blondes gone ".
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THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you weren't married, this
is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.....'
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I don’t usually brag about my finances, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is
outstanding 😊.
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Blonde and a Lawyer
A lawyer gets on a plane and sits next to a beautiful blonde girl. The lawyer leans over and says, "hi, would you like to play a game? I ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5, then you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I give you $500". The blonde agrees, so the lawyer asks her to name the faces of the figures on Mt. Rushmore. She says, "I don't know", and she hands the lawyer $5 as he recites the answer, "George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln."
Now, the blonde asks the lawyer, " what walks up a hill with 2 legs, and walks down with 4 legs?" The lawyer says, "I don't know", and reluctantly hands the blond $500. The blonde lays back and tries to get to sleep, but the lawyer is going nuts that he couldn't answer. So he finally gives her a nudge and says, "WELL! What walks up a hill with 2 legs, and walks down with 4 legs?!?!".
The blonde hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
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A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers,
“Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.
In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks,
“Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says,
“Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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| There are 15 comments on this blog. |
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