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It’s hard to keep up in California (specifically in the city) if you’re paying market price on rent and if u have a car loan, that alone w food is 7k living expenses. That’s your base.
And paving your way to create sustainable living in the city takes a while to ramp up. It’s not you personally that people don’t have time for, it’s just we can’t skip a beat. OC folks especially are so focused to keep up w the grind. LA folks are a pinch more laid back, but still need routine.
One wrong distraction, we risk to lose it all.
Overall So Californians avoid drama, live in peace and build their livelihoods w great professional relationships. Family used to come first, but it’s neck to neck with survival. This is why u literally need a team to look out for mom, check on siblings, etc.
If you go out towards Joshua tree, Temecula or out skirts of San Diego near senior communities, u will find people who have time to say hello and chat. I LOVE leaving the city to feel normal sometimes.
This is only my opinion:
If you come to Cali with no plan, you will suffocate w loneliness and have financial issues.
Cali is about absorbing the sun, real estate/career opportunities and self-growth. If you don’t got friends with their shit together, u ready risk falling behind. Surround yourself w positive minds, but coupled w ambition to succeed.
When people come to Cali for vacation, that’s a different story. Visitors save lots before coming.
So here’s my advice. Build what u need in Cali and take it back to your small town. Build your credit towards the 800s and invest in Cali if u can pick up real estate at wholesale costs. 50% under market value. Cali is the land of opportunity, let’s not snooze on that.
Once u have your foundation, u can build your little city where ever you go. U make your own community. But take care of u first financially, while practicing self love. Depend on nobody and have zero expectations. Count on yourself for emotional support and one or two people you can trust, that won’t drain you.
Sorry so long winded.
The last thing u needed was financial talk. But I rather have you bummed out and at least have a cushion, than depressed w zero to your name.
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But yes, to have your mental health good, u gotta be financially stable or plan to be. And though it looks selfish, it’s really more about independence.
U get financially independent, emotionally you will be too. Distractions will dissolve:
Sorry to repeat... but depend on no one! Take control your of your life hun!
#ladybossAF
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Exercise. Hiking, yoga, martial arts, running on the beach, walking my pups, all put me in the moment, and away from everything else going on.
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I LOVE THAT!
#LADYBOSSAF
growing up with not a lot ive learned that friends and family are really what you need.
money hasn't been a problem of course , thanks guys  but it doesn't always make you happy. I strive for the happiness. daily. So im going to take your advice and use it to help my situation. I just enjoy making everyone else happy. guess I forgot about myself. now I have to take time to make sure im good too. 
Don't get me wrong I like it here. but in a place full of people, its weird that you feel so alone.
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hey I should go for a hike lol I love hiking. A+ bwana
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Sometimes a nice fast run is so therapeutic...or meditating.
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Coach_Mila,
i have a stable job. i have been there almost 34 years.
highest income ever, this fiscal year.
so what's wrong? loneliness.
wife that automatically transfers out any excess income.
where does it go? DON'T know. that's a brutal ar gument.
nothing in common, not food, no pastimes. when your hobbies and interest are taken away, slowly, you won't even notice. where did they go? Fantasyland. memoryland.
you can feel it, but DOESN'T mean anything.
at my age, i am screwed until i die. TAKE care .
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Hun! This where u need to take control!
Poor thing.
She’s not Filipina is she? If so she’s just prolly saving it for u.😉
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Seductive CC, u may have an athletic composition. If you stay too sedentary this will also stagnate your thoughts!!
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You need to do what is right for you. regardless . I am taking time off to feel better. get away from this crazy city
work hard, but don't kill yourself.
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Watching the tv, eating, sleeping, eating, and laying on the couch.
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I left Orange County 29 years ago and moved to the Central Coast, best decision I ever made. For stress relief I bike ride up the local mountain, start at the beach and ride to the top. After that nothing can bother me...
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I was just wondering what different people do when they feel stuck. This city has so much to do, but is so chaotic. and it isn't the chaos that gets me, its the fact that is seems it doesn't matter how much you do, things remain the same.
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im starting to realize its not how much you can do, but the quality and amount of thought you put into doing it.
Everybody has their own perspective. I enjoy sharing mine and hearing yours. it creates an open mind don't you think
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I try to play golf a few times per week and make sure I walk the course. It's great exercise and being out there for 4 hours helps me reboot. I also walk every night for an hour after dinner.
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I have benefited from visits with a therapist when I have struggled.
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Rest and Meditation. Doing things in moderation so as not to overdo and exert yourself.
And most important, do unto others as you would have them do unto you! Treat others as how you want to be treated goes a long way.
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If you think LA is a hard place to survive then don't ever move to New York. Just being honest. You'll be eaten alive if you're not built for it. As for Cali, everything CoachMilla said is correct. Frankly, I think she's the smartest woman I've ever seen on HX.
Have a plan before coming to Cali and save your acorns before coming. Rule of thumb when meeting people here is most are fake as a $3 bill. You don't need to surround yourself with a universe of phony people, but a good group of real people that are ambitious. These are the types that will keep you striving for more. And I don't mean more as in the newest Benz, but rather self improvement such as staying healthy and up to date on events so you can be well rounded. That type of shit.
Don't believe everything every guy tells you because he just wants to fuck you. Sorry but I'm blunt and don't give a shit if the truth hurts.
Like Milla said, if you can buy something that's great. If not, rent will chew you up. Don't worry about a fancy whip. Half the people you see in this town can't afford the car payment anyway.
Keep your health on point. When your body is in a good place, the mind will follow.
Don't borrow shit from anyone. You never want to be in a position of owing a favor.
That's all I have. Tough love from JR!
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Some of the pitfalls to success include succumbing to the "trappings" of success without the actuality of it.
By that I mean leasing a fancy car because it's gorgeous and a fashion statement. Paying more rent than is smart in order to have a high-end address.
Buying designer purses and clothing so that OTHER PEOPLE will think you're successful.
Successful people buy assets; working poor buy liabilities.
Whatever you make, save and invest some. Protect that growing nest egg. Add to it. Buy used cars, 3 years old, coming off a lease (which means every service interval was done on time), or older. Live below your means. Buy things cheap and sell them high. Anyone can do it. Learn what the economy wants and give to the people buying.
Save up until you can put down a down payment and buy something. A condo. A 2-unit duplex. A small 3 bedroom house. Something. Rent out 2 bedrooms while living in the 3rd for a year or three. They're paying your mortgage.
In some few years you can leverage your way into the middle class.
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Wait just one minute. I always buy high and sell low.
I find spending money like a drunken sailor is what works for me.
Always buy Florida property at low tide.
Always put your complete trust in someone that says "to be perfectly honest"
I was able to retire on get rich quick schemes.
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Work harder, not smarter and you won’t have time
To dwell on the imperfections in your life.
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Butthead to be perfectly honest Florida is nice but I’m nicer 😉 my tide isn’t low to be honest it’s kinda middle tide. Been saving up my tides so now I’m at the middle
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I get stage 4 cabin fever which is fixed by a nice long motorcycle ride.
Also go for a nice long walk at the beach most evenings.
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"What do you guys do to help maintain your mental health with so much goin on around you?? "
Turn everything off, no news, no social media. No phone, I mean everything. Even here can be emotionally draining.
Girls give up a lot to do this and why I be a gentlemen and treat you with respect.
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The question for you is, What is it you like to do, Where would you like to go ?
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Dummy me didn't look at your profile.
On second thoughts sounds like loneliness has set in with a bit of home sickness. Ya take a break. Be safe out there.
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@JR718. Yes New York is terrifying when you first arrive. I think most ladies on here can adapt. NYC was the best for me until I wanted to go home after half a year. Cali has the best weather too.
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i cannot afford the cost of becoming sane.
insanity is my only choice.
going to happen, unlesd i am already there.
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@Seductive,
Don't change. Your post has a very refreshing, enticing, and seductive quality to it.
A real person, with a real soul, not jaded by life, or by "the life."
Hold on to that with all of your might.
Get the fuck out of here if you have to...but don't destroy your soul.
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Marry up. Don’t look for the dudes with born to lose tattoo’d across their face.
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Network, friends and family is what we all need to have a real good mental health.
People who knows you and you know them, you can vent and share your darkest without being judged or otherwise frowned upon.
If in the end you do not feel at home, then move on, keep searching for the real home.
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VR headset...new one coming out soon where you can READ internet and work on spreadsheets and other things with.
maybe a little BP
spend about 10hrs a week looking at beaten-down stocks...change your financial future, involves taking some risk
maybe hook up with RICH chick(probably need a coke can for that) or dude(probably has tiny penis)
exercise
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would say face/neck tat might take away options of marrying into WELL off family
coke-can though?? the girl will do it anyway and piss off the parents
so if have a coke-can? prospects are better
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I, for one, am very impressed with OCCITY's optimistic POV
Obviously, we all know it's much worse than he portrays.
The best recommendation I can make to all here
Which, quite fortuitously, is apropos of this site is this:
Go get laid
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the opportunity is out there...put the time in...just like this 20-year-old
This investor made $110 million from trading Bed Bath & Beyond — and he’s a 20-year-old student
mighta been very short time also
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I’ve wondered the same sanity questions with some chicks on here and PD.
Set up appointments, 1hr away confirm, 30min, 10min texts then the parking lot excuses starts...
I’m 5 minutes away and you need to go to CVS for an hour? Or, the classic “I was in the shower” or the timeless “my phone died” or “I didn’t get your text until now”
How long does everyone else wait in the parking lot? I leave in 10 minutes. I already drove an hour in traffic I’m not wasting my time on an over booked flight as a layover.
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Keeping the brain working with education has helped me tremendously. I was a provider and used it as main source of income for a couple decades but I came to a point in my life where I was feeling a void so in order to fill that void I had to make some changes. Changed my environment, went back to school got a degree and got a career where I'm extremely happy. I have had speed bumps and it has not been a perfect ride but to be honest I do not have any regrets. This was my experience and you will have to find yours. I also work out, do yoga, hiking and all those are great but I suggest you find that inner peace and you will prosper greatly from doing so. You are beautiful and you will be amazing at whatever you decide.
xoTabie
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| There are 36 comments on this blog. |
