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cuz ur momma so fat
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Because you're a fat fuck?
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ya'll got jokes..... !!
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My vibratory is stuck I’m in the ER
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If I want to flake on a provider that quotes outlandish rates, I simply reply that I decided in the last 5 minutes to become a lesbian baptist and am donating my penis to a 3rd world country, but namaste all the same. If they want to make crazy quotes, so can I. Two can play at that game. 
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^ lol...... that's original !!!
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i had to take a friend or family member to the hospital
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I once made a morning date with a girl in San Diego... I get location and arrive, park and get room digits.
I knock,.. and knock.. and knock. Nobody there
I go back to my car text, call, send PM.
I then notice a new add up for LA...
I then get a text saying "yeah babe i left last night..."
I text back "dude.. wake up and go back to sleep."
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lol.... I got a similar excuse. It was said after I got to the destination. That she got food poisoning from a burger , and she went to the emergency room to get her stomach pumped. She text later on saying her stomach was pumped , and all was good.... I was like REALLY??? No thanks....
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got pulled into a meeting.
(hear this often) (prolly true often)
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Gina... what excuse
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I showed up at her place, no response to my calls. I was furious driving 1 hour home.
Through PM I asked her what happened. She said she cut her eye on her car door & blood was gushing & she had to get to the hospital.
Funny how she was placing ads just a couple hours after that supposedly happened. Asked a guy who saw her at 6 a.m. if there was anything wrong with her eye. He said no.
It was BarbieNeedsKen
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What excuse do use for a fat man like me?
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I got gout
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No excuse at all. Radio 📻 silence. No reply to pm or text. Ghosted. That’s okay. What goes around comes around. Karma is a b?t:h.
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Fatfuck , you still use your old handle BJojo ? Just asking...
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A lady said she was eating and egg salad sandwich, accidentally ate a piece of egg shell and scratched her throat, had to go to the hospital. We rescheduled for the next day, and she had completely forgotten the excuse she gave me by then.
Also, I’ve gotten the old “Sorry, I fell asleep” on more than one occasion, but for one in particular this lady was actively texting back and responding back prior to the meeting and even once I got there to tell me where the best spot to park was and how she was hurrying up, was almost ready, 10 more minutes, 5 more minutes and then crickets for two hours. Later said “Sorry, I laid down for a second and fell asleep”. BS obviously, but the “my phone died” would’ve been a better excuse at that point.
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Saying “I fell asleep” sounds so irresponsible, it’s probably true.
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“ Sorry but I double booked and you got bumped”
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My boss called me back into work or the wife came home unexpectedly
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Sorry, I fell asleep = I got a bigger, better deal from someone who is paying for a full hour... and is usually done in 10 minutes.
Dropped my phone in the toilet, had to get a new one.
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I luv you Fiji, but does that work in reverse?
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I like to give the benefit of the doubt nowadays. I try to avoid blaming people for cancellations when it could be an urgent situation. I am not perfect and have had instances where something ridiculous happened while someone was on the way (somehow managed to screw up my neck one time and couldn't turn my head without excruciating pain) or I accidentally fell asleep waiting since I was waiting that entire day. When I hear last minute cancellations/excuses that are really out there, I'll try again with them when they message me in the future.
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Audrey, I appreciate your candor.
Yeah. I try not to be too judgmental. It ain’t worth destroying a million brain cells.
I accept excuses, I may not believe them, I just accept them and reevaluate if pursuing a later meeting is worth it.
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I waited for IAmHillary for an hour. She said she was just leaving & driving down to the site & would be there in a few minutes. I'd call for update & she was still on her way, just driving into the building, etc.
I later realized another guy had been there the whole time & he confirmed his appointment time with me (the same as mine). I must've fucked up his time with her since she had to answer the phone so much. 
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wow...
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Arrive at incall location after having spoken 30 min prior. Told aunt flow came to visit.
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so do the Aunt too
just really, REALLY wear a rain coat
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Oh ok... raincoat is one work around
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FATFUKK, I should add that I was parked right in front of the entrance of the parking garage & despite her saying she was just driving into the parking lot, I didn't see any cars entering.
I did have a good time with her & the 2nd time was WOAHHHH! 
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Damn.... really! That sucks!!!! But it sounds like you had a "Booty-Astic" time!!!!!!
Heck that 's all that matters...........
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@ NutandBolt.... wow!! that makes a ton of sense..I always wondered about that..
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my 2 favorites are:
I had to take my mom to the hospital. but she posted in a different location an hour later
and
Sorry babe, I ran into some friends and started gambling with them, but do you have some money so i can keep gambling? this was sent over an hour after I saw her head for the elevator with another guy and i said fuck it and left
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damn!!!!!! wow!! Now she's "Slicker than Snot" ..
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"Sorry babe my next appt is at 6 I won’t have time to see you”
Even though we agreed on a set time in the morning and it was only half hour. We were talking 10 mins before the set appt and I was literally maybe a mile away from her.
Damn didn’t think I could get CB on here.
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^^^^DAMN MAN!!!..... this is educational stuff . I always wondered about this, and UNSURE if some of the stuff I heard is shenanigans.. But based on what's been said so far... from guys/ gals: shenanigans seems to be the right way to describe it...
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I got to the location at the lady's apartment. She needed to give me the gate code. When I texted, she texted back we needed to hold off for awhile or maybe postpone to the next day.
She said she had a water leak in her bathroom and the plumber was there. Of course, I joked back that it sounded like an 'excuse' but she sent back, unless we wanted to do a threesome with the plumber, needed to book the next day.
I went ahead, trusting she hadn't just made up the excuse.
Got there the next day and the carpet in her bedroom was partially pulled up and drying fans were in the bathroom entrance to the bedroom.
So I guess she did have a leak. She had said she would make it up to me and damn, did we lay some pipe....LOL
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Early on in my original participation. Meeting was set for LAX area. Arrived at location and texted multiple times but no response. Left after waiting1/2 hour and I sent a polite email to her, polite because she was very conspicuous about being well connected here and I was just a newbee so I didn't want to get red dings. Her response was: My ex in OC was supposed to gather up our seedling but he got picked up on a parole violation so I had to rush back to OC to do the pick up to keep DFS out of the picture Way too complicated to be made up so I just assumed it was true. She never suggested and so I never tried to do a makeup.
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Oh damn!!...that was one heck of a story . Didn't think it would end that way ..it sounds like something that u would read in a Hustler magazine...like the Dear Hustler Stories section.
For example..... Dear Hustler I was at the supermarket in the produce area the other day, and I was checking the firmess of the water melons .. I started squeezing these two huge melons, and low hold behold guess what happened next.....
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Sister got cancer or Mom OD and in the hospital. It is funnier when she gets them backwards or confused when you ask "how is she doing today" and she gives you the other one with the same problem or the other way around. LOL
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Her boob popped! True Story!
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Agree with KissMeLucky!!!!
Any excuse is better than no call no show.
I will always give someone a chance because shit does happen.
No call no show... don't bother calling again. Too many great gentlemen on this site to have to deal with kids.
As for blog title .. had one guy 4 hours late, had to work late, car wont start, got pulled over on way there. But he called every time!!!! I made his day special after all that, he deserved it!
Amy
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^^^ This is all good team X
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After I got to the location I texted that I was there.
I got a delayed text' "Hun, I have and emergency I have to go"
I replied with a thumbs up and left.
Later that day I got a text from her, "OMG fire alarms were going off like crazy. I'm so sorry I had to check out and talk about strange anyways I apologize"
I replied, "That's okay. Life happens"
Then added, "The strange thing is that I was parked in the parking lot when I texted you that I was there and I didn't hear any fire alarms or see anyone exiting rooms.
About all I saw was a maid pass in front of my vehicle as she was going to another room to clean.
I'm just glad you didn't get hurt."
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Dang TD!!!!!!!! The Bizzareness (if this is a word!! ) gets more and more Bizarre!!
You guys in this BLOG are providing more "Adult Education" than the 80's duo HALL & OATES!!
For the youngsters.... go to YOU TUBE and type in HALL & OATES... find the track Adult Education. These dudes were dope , back in the day!!!
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#lasr
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| There are 46 comments on this blog. This blog is locked and no further comments are permitted. |
