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Exoticbabygirl
Inland Empire, CA
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since Sep 2 2019

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Locked. No further comments permitted.A day to Mourn Today .. 10/14/2020
Oct 14 2020 08:33PM more by Exoticbabygirl
Tags: LA, Random (All tags)

To ANYONE WHO HAS LOST SOMEONE AND FELT ALONE AND VULNERABLE.
IM HERE FOR YOU AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN.



I lost my mom couple years ago October and Today I Lost the last woman I had left My Grandma . My heart is in a very sensitive place and I feel different than yesterday. I just want to Vent but I dont want to explain how I feel right now, without anyone taking advantage..


Today I finally realized I Only have Me & That Made Me Feel Very Alone ....
I wish I could express more without feeling vulnerable and attacked by those who dont care.
(This post doesnt give you power over me)

Im sad and IM feeling so much ...

HX has been the only community I let myself get close to so If Im being to expressive Delete this Post...


      
There are 42 comments on this blog. This blog is locked and no further comments are permitted.
chaco93552
Coastal, LA, CA
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since Mar 20 2009

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Oct 14 2020 08:39PM     link to this

I’m sorry to hear about your loss.
Try to keep you head up , I know it’s hard with that hollow
Feeling in your chest. Time will heal everything , but it sure sucks loosing
Your grandma not too long after loosing your mother
You’re right , we’re a community so if you need anything just ask us.
We’re here for you.
Chaco
Night-Rider
OC, CA
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since Jul 23 2019

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Oct 14 2020 08:51PM     link to this

I wish you be filled with peace and happiness to make the bad times go a bit better.
sam_wilson
City of Los Angeles, LA, CA
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since Sep 15 2007

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Oct 14 2020 09:07PM     link to this

Anyone you have physically lost will live on in your mind & heart, never forget.
Mr.Horndog
City of San Diego, San Diego, CA
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since May 9 2013

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Oct 14 2020 10:18PM     link to this

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Nature can be healing during a hard time.
BougieSavage
Thousand Oaks, Ventura, Central Coast, CA
40 blogs/1004 comments
since Jun 30 2020

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Oct 14 2020 10:22PM     link to this

😔 My thoughts are with you. Death is tough. The finality of it and being the one left behind are both super tough aspects to deal with. Let me know if you need anything and if it’s in my power/means, I am totally willing to help out. RIP 😕
TOSViolate818
SFV, LA, CA
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since Jul 9 2017

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Oct 14 2020 10:23PM     link to this

Really really sorry to hear of your loss and pain. In my experience grief comes in waves gradually easing. I wish you strength and comfort.
Latin_Lover
Camarillo, Ventura, Central Coast, CA
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since May 9 2011

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Oct 14 2020 11:27PM     link to this

The death of love one's leaves a hole in our hearts that you start filling up again with the lovely memories and unique moments you had lived with them. Have peace and be happy!
thedon60
Long Beach, LA, CA
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since Sep 4 2008

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Oct 14 2020 11:30PM     link to this

Sorry to hear this. Losing loved ones is one of the most difficult times in life. Feeling vulnerable is really ok. It is natural and it can even be a source of strength. Like others have said grief is a process with a number of stages. Experience them all without pushing them away but without letting them overwhelm you either.
Also few of us on this site have not felt pain or loss. You are not alone.
The best to you
NickSgv
OC, CA
56 blogs/1773 comments
since May 6 2019

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Oct 15 2020 06:48AM     link to this

Sorry to hear that babe. These are trying times and the normal feelings of grief for the loss of a loved one are magnified while we are in the forced isolation of the pandemic.
Time heals the pain of most losses and throwing yourself into a role you do so well may also help ( more onlyfans content ?)
Make sure you get lots of sun, exercise and healthy food. It gets better.



Nick.

paulbunyan
SFV, LA, CA
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since May 30 2009

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Oct 15 2020 07:28AM     link to this

That's hard to bear. I'm sorry for your loss.
islandtalent
CA
134 blogs/1247 comments
since May 22 2019

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Oct 15 2020 08:05AM     link to this

Sophia, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost 3 close family members last year. i look back and cherish my memories and time spent with them. I wish you the strength and much love in this challenging time.
TheGentlemanLvr
Huntington Beach, OC, CA
209 blogs/1117 comments
since Dec 21 2013

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Oct 15 2020 08:30AM     link to this

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss! I know the feeling all too well.

Try to think of great memories that make you smile!

If you want to chat, please PM me your number.

Hang in there, Baby!
SkurferGurl
Inland Empire, CA
82 blogs/2492 comments
since Jun 12 2015

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Oct 15 2020 08:40AM     link to this

Been there unfortunately, hang in there you're very young & important to other people in your life !! Don't forget that !!
My prayers and condolences !!
juniorcalon
San Diego, CA
15 blogs/656 comments
since Aug 4 2015

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Oct 15 2020 10:28AM     link to this

^ And I Love U. ^ Let's make a Love Triangle.
icexdragon124
SFV, LA, CA
29 blogs/151 comments
since Mar 1 2016

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Oct 15 2020 11:40AM     link to this

Thoughts and prayers to you!! We need to spend as much time with our parents as possible
just4funjj
OC, CA
0 blogs/19 comments
since Aug 17 2013

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Oct 15 2020 12:22PM     link to this

Sorry for your loss. I lost my brother last month. It is a difficult time to get through. Stay strong.
CreativeMemory
Newport Beach, OC, CA
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since Apr 10 2017

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Oct 15 2020 12:25PM     link to this

I'm sorry for your loss. My dad passed away a few years ago, and my mom had Alzheimers.
I feel your pain. You are way too young to lose a parent. I'm sorry
maritio
LA, CA
52 blogs/881 comments
since Jun 5 2007

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Oct 15 2020 12:26PM     link to this

So sorry for your lost . I lost my Mom , I still fall apart.
YourCaptain
San Diego, CA
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since Jun 25 2010

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Oct 15 2020 12:57PM     link to this

I lost my mom in October too. And to lose your grandmother in October too is tough. It's a special kind of loneliness when we lose certain people... I can relate. Sending good thoughts your way sweetheart. I hope your memories bring you more happiness than sadness.
71bronco
OC, CA
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since Aug 19 2008

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Oct 15 2020 01:30PM     link to this

Sorry for your loss. 71b
straightman
SFV, LA, CA
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Oct 15 2020 03:54PM     link to this

Sounds like you had a great relationship with your Mom. I am old and it's been so long shice my parents passed. Loss sucks and dates, times of year are definately triggers to feel reborn grief. Feeling means we are still alive. Dia de Muertos is coming, a few special days to celebrate the dead, to embrace life and enjoy the memories.

Magnum44
San Diego, CA
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since Mar 19 2017

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Oct 15 2020 06:27PM     link to this

My sincerest condolences, Exoticbabygirl. My heart goes out to you. I truly believe we are never alone this world, even if we at times feel that way. There are many good people out there and we have a loving God, even if we can't always understand why things happen the way the do. Don't lose hope.
K8TO
OC, CA
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since Nov 28 2012

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Oct 16 2020 08:55AM     link to this

Condolences...God Bless
Sheheldmeback
SGV, LA, CA
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since Jan 23 2012

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Oct 16 2020 11:05AM     link to this

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mom last year, so I completely understand what you are going through. Someone said it right, it is a dark time. The only words I can give you from my experience is that it is ok to be sad, angry and lonely, even though there may be people around. The tears will dry up, the sadness will dull, but the memories of good times and happiness will lift you up.

If you need to talk, please reach out to me or anyone you know in this community.
Allison_Snow
Temecula, Inland Empire, CA
225 blogs/968 comments
since Aug 15 2008

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Oct 16 2020 11:19AM     link to this

My condolences go out to you I lost my grandparents at a very young age and just celebrated my dad’s 10 year death day on the 13th.
MyGuy
Irvine, OC, CA
5 blogs/174 comments
since Aug 15 2012

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Oct 16 2020 01:06PM     link to this

My deepest condolences, as I'm sure that you had a very special bond with her. I know that it's hard, but remember to reflect on all the great times that you shared, wonderful memories and life lessons.
Exoticbabygirl
Inland Empire, CA
18 blogs/126 comments
since Sep 2 2019

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Oct 16 2020 02:08PM     link to this

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words . It truly means a lot to me during this tough time.

I truly appreciate the genuine connections I have in this community .

Please give me some time to gather all my thoughts and emotions I will get back to everyone shortly.

Much love ❤️
Exoticbabygirl
Inland Empire, CA
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since Sep 2 2019

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Oct 16 2020 02:46PM     link to this

I REALLY WANT TO THANK THOSE WHO ARE TEXTING ME & SENDING ME LOVE ANYWAY THEY CAN .

TO THOSE ASKING IF THERES ANY WAY TO HELP ..
I WILL NOT BE POSTING ANY PERSONAL LINKS FOR DONATIONS. (For Privacy Reasons)


I TRULY APPRECIATE THE ONES WHO HAVE OFFERED.


Tatiana36dd
NC
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since Feb 4 2012

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Oct 16 2020 04:19PM     link to this

Native American poem to make you feel love.

By Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die
Tatiana36dd
NC
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since Feb 4 2012

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Oct 16 2020 04:20PM     link to this

Native American poem to make you feel love.

By Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die
R3photog
Pico Rivera, LA, CA
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since Dec 30 2010

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Oct 16 2020 04:33PM     link to this

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my mom coming up on 2 years in November. My father passed away when I was very young so it was just mom and I. Yesterday one of moms best friends passed as well. She was like a mom to me I have known her since I was three. The feeling of being alone is so overwhelming sometimes. But as I go through the day there are things that remind me of mom, sights smells, sounds. All those remind me of her and I know she is still surrounding me and will forever live in my heart. It will take time, and it will not be easy, but you are not alone. You have friends that surround you, let them in and let them know how you feel. You may be surprised that many are feeling the same thing. Together you will get through this. Your are a stranger to me, but I will keep you in my prayers, you will get through this.

R
Arisen6969
City of Los Angeles, LA, CA
50 blogs/470 comments
since May 23 2020

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Oct 16 2020 04:34PM     link to this

Condolences for your loss.

Even though the maternal figures of your life have moved on from this physical realm. The memory of their greatness lives on in you 🖤

Sending out the good vibes to you 🙌🏼
lookingla2013
LA, CA
36 blogs/679 comments
since Jan 10 2013

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Oct 16 2020 05:43PM     link to this

I'm sorry for your heartache. I also lost my mother several years ago. She was the only person that I truly cared for. Remember them when you feel the most alone and remember they will never be completely if you keep them in your heart and mind. sounds cheesy but its true.
hyder
SGV, LA, CA
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since Mar 11 2008

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Oct 16 2020 06:32PM     link to this

So so sorry
HotRodHarry
Tarzana, SFV, LA, CA
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since Apr 4 2011

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Oct 16 2020 07:59PM     link to this

Deepest condolences for your loss. I have lost too many ones close to me, so have some understanding of what you are going through. Instead of loss, I think it's more like lost, as that is how I feel when I lose someone. Hope you find your way, much love. HRH
RalphBlaine
Irvine, OC, CA
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since Jan 19 2009

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Oct 16 2020 09:08PM     link to this

I'm sorry for your loss. Only with time will the pain diminish, cling on to your fond memories and know you aren't alone in your sorrow.
Bethany
LA, CA
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since Jan 31 2009

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Oct 16 2020 11:10PM     link to this

In 2020 I can say that my family is blessed to get thru this disaster of a year. But the two years prior we lost my aunt... 6 months later my grandfather and 6 months later my grandmother. They say it comes in 3's. I don't know what I would do or feel if we got hit with another set of 3's.

Prayers for your family. All those who have felt that pain.

OCCityBoy2
OC, CA
27 blogs/2441 comments
since Jul 15 2016

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Oct 17 2020 07:34AM     link to this

sooner or later, loneliness becomes a state of mind.

develop a routine, add something, lose something.
loneliness is life without the noise.
good luck.
amateurfan2004
CA
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since Oct 8 2006

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Oct 17 2020 08:55AM     link to this

Condolences to you on the losses of your mother and grandmother. I lost my aunt a few months ago, too, and miss her much. Prayers to you to stay strong and keep their memories fresh in your mind.
big1234
LA, CA
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since May 28 2010

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Oct 17 2020 09:00AM     link to this

Prayers for you and your family. Just remember, they all continue to live through you. You’re a living testament to their existence and experience
cocoa_lover
Baldwin Park, SGV, LA, CA
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Oct 17 2020 11:41AM     link to this

Am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom in July 2018 & she would have turned 92 this coming Monday.

Please take care!
hyder
SGV, LA, CA
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Oct 17 2020 03:08PM     link to this

Lost a friend to C19. Can't seem to get over the loss. It is tough.
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