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Creepy
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hi this is otter excited crouch this in the ride of this jump against month turbulence witler5 written tractor in the diving moon drinking calls away to the distance
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Are you a parking ticket?
'Cause you've got fine written all over you. ).gif)
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I wanna bang you like a screen door in a Texas tornado
Works every time
Although I've never tried it
Somebody wanna run with it and report back?
Thank you
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Google eats said ur best place to eat at
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^
You go playa
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I can see a part of me in you.
OR
We should get something straight between us.
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You caught my attention and I just wanted to say Hi!
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Do you like stuff?
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Hi I’m John and I have a job.
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"Lets fuck"......Works every time.
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
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"Where's your husband?"
"Oh, you're not married?"
"So we can hang out, then..."
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Too wordy and indirect
As someone said
"Let's fuck" will get you on the scoreboard..............
Eventually
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Me: Hi, would you like to play elevator?
Lady in question: Elevator?
Me: Yeah, right now I'm up ... would you like to go down?
Atticus Finch
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"How YOU doin ?"
Joey
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"Wanna check out my dick pics?"
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Fuck the old lines.. I'm into memes now.
Send a chick a picture of a generous stack of Benjamins and a note saying "you and me... wild and free" and the days date.
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Yell "hey, if you make me chase you, you're gonna piss me off ".
On my word that actually worked.
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"Bend over I'm drivin"
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@csrnhb is that Latin? If so that’s badasss
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I always thought the best pickup line is “would you like to dance”? (With him) assuming there’s music or if not it’s still kinda Cute to ask the girl to dance with you 🤩
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Would you like to dance...let's do the the horizontal rumba.
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"Baby I'm like milk, I do your body good"
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Great legs. What time do they open?"
“That shirt’s very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be coming too.”
“Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”
“Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”
“Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get.”
"See my friend standing over there? He wants to know if you think I am cute!"
"If I could rearrange alphabets, I would put U and I together."
"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes."
"If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn't cry for fear of losing you."
"Is that bruise from when you fell from heaven?"
"Would you touch me so I can tell my friends that an angel has touched me?"
"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"
"If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be called McGorgeous"
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can definitely see myself in your pants."
"Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away!"
"You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life."
"Sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."
"Do you have a bandaid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you."
"Your name must be Campbell's because you're mmm mmm good."
"Do you work for UPS? Because I swear I saw you checking out my package."
"You must work at KFC because those are great breasts and legs."
"Are you from Tennessee? Because youre the only ten I see."
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I wish I could change the alphabet . . . so I could put "U" and "I" together.
Nice shoes.
Wanna Fk?
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
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Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
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Listen here bitch...I don’t have time for your convoluted mind games. We are both adults. If you want to enjoy the pleasures of a penis that a fit male like myself can offer then let’s agree to meet. If not, fuck off. I will not subject myself to your stupid flirtatious nonsense. I look forward to hearing your straightforward response.
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This is how it works. You call an Uber. I get in. It drives me to your location. You'll have food ready for me. I'll eat that while you shower to ensure your angus is ready for my 8 inch tongue. After I finish, I'll brush my teeth with your toothbrush and you'll like it. I'll then carry you to the bed and toss you lightly and playfully while ripping off your thong. Now this is where you suck me off until I finish. Then you'll get the pleasure of my hard muscles pulsating in you. Once we finish i will not throw you a towel. I'll get in the uber waiting for me and you'll never hear back from me again.
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"Sugar Pants" has been gone for years. She was really nice.
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Excuse me, you’re standing on my Dick.
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Hi beautiful, the name is Logan…
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Me: What would you like for breakfast?
Woman in question: Breakfast? It's night time. Don't you mean dinner?
Me: I mean breakfast tomorrow morning.
Atticus Finch
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you know you wanna try and ride that thing...don't be nervous
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A friend of mine actually used that line in a bar in Ventura once.
He was lucky he had another shirt in his car.
Women just don't have a sense of humor.
Atticus Finch
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Most beautiful women usually find me very attractive
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Artnjazz, I love your response. That's a good one.
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What has to thumbs and like to get it’s dick sucked?
This guy! As I point to myself with my thumbs.
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How you doin?
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“Hello, beautiful. I have 9 inches for you.”
Takes off boxers.
“Oh, the 9 inches was an inflation measurement.”
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hi just noticed something on your face.
her: what
a cute look
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Either take it now or I'll just bone your friend.
You choose.
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Your parents will be released unharmed as soon as I'm done.
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It's no shame that I chose you last in your group of friends
Lets just get it over with
And don't let the bag slip off your head
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These are golden nuggets i'm dropping here............ I have more
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“Excuse me, How does it feel to be the prettiest girl here”?
Corny, I know, but always gets a shy demure smile.
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"Either take it now or I'll just bone your friend. "
This actually worked for me once after a girl had been stringing me along for a couple hours (on my ta while her chunky friend tried to put her tongue in my ear. I was desperate and out of money and thought hey i have nothing to lose....
We ended up dating for about a year...some of the best sex ever.
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"Hi, I'm studying American Literature. Can you help straighten out my Longfellow?" (With credit to Rodney Dangerfield)
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| There are 48 comments on this blog. This blog is locked and no further comments are permitted. |
