I was blue and lonely
I couldn't sleep a wink
And I could only get unconscious
If I'd had too much to drink

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in me 'ead

I needed inspiration
A brand new start in life
Somewhere to place affection
But I didn't want a wife

And then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual
The like I'd never seen

"Experience something different
With our new imported toy
She's loving, warm, inflatable
And a guarantee of joy"

She came all wrapped in cardboard
All pink and shriveled down
A breath of air was all she needed
To make her lose that frown

I took her to the bedroom
And pumped her with some life
And later in a moment
That girl became my wife

And so I sit her in the corner
And sometimes stroke her hair
And when I'm feeling naughty
I blow her up with air

She's cuddly and she's bouncy
She's like a rubber ball
I bounce her in the kitchen
And I bounce her in the hall

And now my life is different
Since Sally came my way
I wake up in the morning
And have her on a tray

She's everything they say she was
And I wear a permanent grin
And I only have to worry
In case my girl wears thin