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Thank you for a rainy day laugh!
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Since St. Patrick's Day is coming up:
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!!
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Cause they're always a little short!
Q: Why did God invent whiskey?
A: So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What is black and blue and found floating upside down in the Irish sea?
A: Someone who's tells a stupid Irish joke!
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Q: What do you call an Irish in a bar?
A: Drunk.
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whats the difference between an irish wedding and a irish funeral?
...
one less drunk irishman
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Good joke, reminds me of this one:
Q: how do you tell the difference between a oral and an anal thermometer?
A: The taste.
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Or the doctor that reached in his coat pocket to write a prescription but pulled out a rectal thermometer, saying "Dammit.! Some asshole has my pen."
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What is Irish and sits uselessly on your back porch all winter long?
That would be Patty O'Furniture!
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that was funny 
might had to drop the class at that moment
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๐คข๐คฎ
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Make sure if you tell this you use your best Irish brogue when telling the Irishman's story.
An American goes to Ireland on a golf holiday. He goes to the golf club and says "I'd like to play some golf, but have nobody to play with. Would anyone here like to play?" A man walks up and says "I'll play with you. I'll meet you here at 9 am, but I could be 15 minutes late."
So the American turns up the next morning and sure enough the Irishman is there at 9 am, with a set of left handed clubs. They play a round and the Irishman wins quite convincingly. So the American says "that was great playing. Would you like to play again tomorrow?" The Irishman replies "certainly. I'll meet you here at 9 am, but I could be 15 minutes late."
So they both turn up the next day at 9 am, only this time the Irishman has a right handed set of clubs. They play a round and again the Irishman wins quite convincingly. The American shocked says "wow you play very well. Yesterday you beat me playing left handed. Today you beat me right handed. How do you decide what hand to play with?" The Irishman replies "well when I wake up, if my wife is laying on her left side I play left handed and if she's laying on her right side I play right handed" To which the American says "what happens if she's laying on her back?"
"Then I'll be 15 minutes late!"
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^ What happens if she is laying on her stomach?
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Whatโs a seven course Irish dinner?
A six pack and a potato.
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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: 0mg.
I don't like the way my kids are always quick to blame other people. They get that from their mum.
What did the horse say to the one-legged man? "How are you getting on?"
Smoking will kill you, bacon will kill you, but smoking bacon will cure it.
What did St Patrick say when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland? "Are ye okay in the back there, lads?"
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Three Irish guys walk out of a barโฆ
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It would have been better if he actually licked the pooper finger. Thx girly I love your style.๐๐
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Tabernator using licked and pooper in the same sentence is ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
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Marissa,
If she is on her stomach then he not going to show up as he will only be playing the back nine!
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A man buys his wife a robe and a dildo. You know why? So that way if she does not like the robe . he can tell her to go fuck herself
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That the same autopsy prof that dragged his colleague to the basement morgue?
Pulled a cork from the dead body's anus and the faint strains of Hello Dolly could be heard
Popped the cork back in and the song stopped
Pulled it out and once more, Hello Dolly was heard faintly in the distance
The colleague turned to the prof and said.....
"You brought me all the way down here just to listen to some asshole sing Hello Dolly?"
Badabump
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| There are 19 comments on this blog. |
