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I don't know but I feel ya.
I was supposed to see a repeat yesterday, scheduled. 4 hours later I get the reason for ghosting. But I accept her reason; hope she's good.
I had a time set today with someone else. That ghost replied 1.5 hours late: "will contact soon" - nothing since.
I've PM'd 4 others with recent classifieds - nothing.
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That just makes no sense! What kind of craziness is happening in the world?
Sorry you are getting left out in the cold!
"A"
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It happens, unfortunately. But as I can't see what's happening on the other side I just gotta let it go.
Accept the ways of others, respect first your own.
- Master Po
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"Snatch the pebble from my hand, grasshopper"
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I agree that every business should be conducted with professionalism. I also believe that whatever you do, do the best you can. And so I conduct my business with those two things in mind, always. I would never leave a client waiting for an extended period of time. Not even 30 mins, much less for hours. It drives me crazy when I book a double and the other lady is late or just plain not ready on time. Which usually leads to my not booking with that lady again.
In as much as I appreciate your comment, it just doesn't answer my question.
I provide the chance to be late, change or cancel the appointment without issue. And I find it hard to believe that so many guys would react so irresponsibly to all ladies because others have left him waiting for a long time or worse just ghosted. But I could be very wrong.
Please guys, PLEASE be adult enough to send a simple text if you are running late or just can not make it at all. It really is not hard. It is not like you will be sent to bed without dinner.
"A"
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Your PSA is falling on deaf ears.
People have no tact. Or care of anyone other than themselves. I know, blanket statements. But becoming the norm. And common sense is not the common we grew up with. It is common to the next generations. But not to many of us.
One reason is that they have limited communication abilities. They only know being behind a keyboard which means you are not real unless they meet you. So they don't mind wasting your time.
Another reason resides with the girls who think the same way. No care about cancelling without actually cancelling. Just not showing or replying.
No need to mention any type of business sense. There isn't any. (Again, blanket statement that is now the majority. Many bookers included).
They were raised as nothing is their fault.
This is dumbing it down to basic reasons. I have seen it from my end and heard about it from many girls on your end. That is the only sense I can make out. People just don't care anymore.
I used to think it was sad. Now I just try to not waste too much time and move on to the next one. Or stick with girls I know. Sucks for the girls because there is not just a real loss, it is a loss that can cause big problems. It sucks for the guys as well just not as much. For obvious reasons.
Did that make sense? My delivery is not always clear. But I feel the need to dumb it down to make sense of something that just doesn't make sense to me. (Hah. Did that make sense?)
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It does make sense. But I still just do not get it! I guess because it is not something I would do. I know that time is a valuable thing. I would never waste someone time, and I do not like having my wasted either.
But you are right, they just do not care. And sadly that reason probably covers most of them.
I am not going to go into the explanation of just how much time and more is lost every time it happens. That would be another waste of time.
Thanks.
"A"
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I think some just get cold feet...dunno why??
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+1 on what TRG said.
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This is why is love people who respond quickly. If I pm someone and get a response (even if days later) I will respond with a thank you and save the info for late when we can hook up. I totally understand if something comes up (family, friends, pets, etc). If we make plans and something comes up (whatever it is). If you send a text or pm telling me about it, I am fine with it. I will be disappointed but I will accept it. I will try and do the same.
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I have been asking the same question for years. Guys who don’t show up vs. ladies who make appointments and ghost the guy when he says he is there. We have filled up several blogs about this question. And to date the only thing I have come up with is: A few people have real reasons for this behavior, but the rest are just a—holes!
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Maybe he "fell asleep." At least that's the response I've gotten from several ladies when I have a confirmed appointment and they flake on me.
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It's also, or should be a known fact that most women speak 10 times as many more words as a guy, unless a guy is very out going. Communication and a person's Happiness level is everything in life, some just have it or do it better than others. Course what is said and the tone level that comes across is telling, so...
As a Lyft driver some days I can do 10-12 trips and be total crickets the whole day, just a greeting and I thank you at the end. Once in a while we can have a conversation the whole trip to LA, others sleep. It's like a box of Choclates.
There is a Laundry list of reasons why, somewhere in the middle maybe truth. It is better to take first that it is as truth, and don't let one's reactive mind get in the way, cause it maybe all down hill from there with no recovery.
Sage words ...
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I understand what you are saying. But I communicate well. I am very clear in my directions and make 100% sure we both agree on time and place. Even asking them to text me right away if anything changes.
I know my manners, Please, Thank you, and You are Welcome !
But there are times when it just doesn't add up.
For example when an appointment is booked about an hr before. Plenty of chat back and forth, then at 5 mins post appointment time...........nothing. I tend to think he never really planned to show up. What do you think?
"A"
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Make a note, and move on to the next asap. What would be the point of dwelling on it.
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It’s lame. And I know for a fact that dudes do it all the time. Kinda lame.
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Well after getting ready for the appointment, then trying to reach him at 5, 10, and 15 mins late. Plenty of time has been wasted and it is impossible to book someone else into that time.
So at that point I am curious what happened.
Was it me? Did I say something wrong?
"A"
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I would imagine they contacted or were contacted by several clients or providers and were lured away with a bigger payday or a sweet tongue
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Re: Darth's comment...
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On the flip side, I've been trying to see someone for over two months and even sent a deposit three weeks ago that she's still holding on to. I really want to see her, but she's so flakey, unresponsive, and cancelling meetings last second after being prompted even with the deposit, that my interest is waning. I'll skip the long rant and leave it at that...
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You’ve always had excellent communication when we’ve had appointments and I believe I’ve reciprocated. Both HX guys and gals have had to deal with flakes. It is unfortunate and annoying.
For the guy if you’ve rearranged your day and potentially drive a fairly long time and distance. For the ladies, a lost opportunity for business and a waste of there time and effort to get ready.
Fortunately, I haven’t had to deal with a flake in quite some time.
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Ive been at this awhile and had my share of flakes over the years. And that is why I tend to play in my own backyard because if I get flaked on, while the disappointment is there, my drive home is a brief one. I was brought up with the importance of being on time, be it for work or in my private life. Unfortunately it is not a value universally shared.
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It is really to bad that everybody's Mama did not teach them to mind their manners.
AND
as I learned in school....
The Golden Rule
Do unto others
as you would have
them do unto you
It is as simple as that!
"A"
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This has happened to me due to my SO just showing up unannounced and me having to cancel an appointment. This is why being single and not having a warden to answer to is the way to be... 
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One of the main reasons HX members ghost each other is that they don't feel there's any consequences in doing so.
One of the major advantages this community has over just about any site is the ability to communicate between members, both publicly and privately.
More importantly, there is a system in place to warn others of members one feels is unsafe or abusive of the system. That is the network system. If you publicly warn the community in you profile that you will give a negative karma rating to anyone who cancels on you without providing a reason, and follow through, members will realize there are consequences to their abusive actions.
If the community on the whole enforced this valuable use of the network system the majority of the members would curtail this ghosting abuse.
We should not only ask questions that almost seem rhetorical in nature, but also try to find solutions to the questions. This is a viable solution if it becomes the norm.
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I agree, and for the most part I use the network as is was intended. But these guys are not all from here. They come to me from many sites. And thinking about it now, I think the majority of them are not from here, because we do have the network system.
"A"
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| There are 26 comments on this blog. |
