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May 24 2019 03:05PM
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I like big tits an I cannot lie
But I like little tits to.
Okay, I like ‘em all.
Except moobs.
No moobs.
21 comments
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May 15 2019 07:55PM
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Good Ole Alabama
I’ll bet dollars to donuts if any of those fuckers who just passed the ridiculous legislation in Alabama had a wife who got sexually assaulted and knocked up would be more than happy to raise that bundle of joy as their own. Yeah, right.
11 comments
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May 8 2019 01:33PM
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Asexual
My SO recently informed me she is asexual. I looked it up. It’s a real thing. Not considered disorder and it’s fairly common. Explains a lot about our “love life.” Anybody else here in a relationship with somebody who is asexual?
29 comments
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Apr 19 2019 08:06AM
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Shoes
On or off during the deed. What’s your preference?
13 comments
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Mar 15 2019 08:15AM
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Imperious Twat
I love a good insult. A friend of mine once called his girlfriend an “imperious twat.” Actually, now his ex-girlfriend. Somebody called me a “needle prick toad fucker” a number of years ago. Not bad, but imperious twat remains my all time favorite.
13 comments
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Mar 5 2019 09:47AM
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Let’s try this missive on progressive perspectives again
I think I cleaned up all the no-no’s, si let’s see if this passes muster. Again, I am passing this along because it provides a pretty good sense of progressive philosophy. I didn’t write it, but I wish I had.
I feel the need to drop a little truth on y'all. So buckle up...I'm about to be politically incorrect.
We don't need to take America back. No one stole it. It's right here...you're sitting in it. Chillax.
Mexico isn't going to pay for the wall and we're not going to deport millions of people and break up families. If you think either one is a good idea, you're not smart and probably not a person I want to hang out with.
We don't live in a democracy. Technically we are a Federal Republic. But in reality we are ruled by an oligarchy. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Reading will do you good. You probably need to do more of it.
FoxNews, CNN, and MSNBC have an agenda and are not "fair and balanced" or in any way unbiased. I'll reiterate...read more. Read newspapers (even online ones). Read lots of opinions and sources and then (stay with me here), THINK! Form your own opinion based on as many facts as your can brain can tolerate.
Speaking of facts...there actually is a difference between facts, opinions, and propaganda. You should learn the difference. (Another opportunity to show off your mad reading skills.)
Science is real. We know things because of science. Don't be afraid of it. You have an iPhone and Facebook because of science. It's your friend.
Global warming or "climate change" as the cool people call it IS REAL. Anyone who tells you it's not real is not a smart person and probably should not be dressing themselves.
Racism exists. And you are probably a little racist and should work on that. Seriously.
American Christians are not under attack. We are not being persecuted. We wield so much power in this country that politicians pretend to be Christian just so we will vote for them. No one is trying to take your bible away from you. The gay people are not destroying our families—we don't need any help from them, thank you. We do a fine job of that by ourselves. So stop saying we are persecuted. You sound stupid.
Poor people need help. If you're not helping them but complaining about how the government helps them with your money you are not a nice person.
Be nice to the people who are teachers. Don't send them nasty emails or yell at them. Their job is 10,000 times harder than your stupid job. You are not a professional educator so just shut your mouth and be thankful someone is willing to teach the next generation.
You don't know what Common Core is. You think you do, but you don't unless you're a teacher. So stop complaining about math problem memes on Facebook. You can't do the math anyway.
ISIS is not an existential threat to the United States. We do not need to rebuild our military. Our military is the strongest, scariest, most badass killing machine the world has ever seen. So stop being afraid and stop letting politicians and pundits scare you.
Guns do in fact kill people. That's what they are designed to do. If you feel you need a gun to protect yourself in America, you are probably living in the wrong neighborhood and should move before you go out and buy a gun. There are like a billion places to live where you won't need a gun, or even need to lock your front door.
If you do own a gun, then make sure you know how to use it really, really, really well. Seriously...get some training because you still don't know how to record stuff with your DVR. Go to the gun range and shoot the thing a lot. Learn how to clean it properly and be able to disassemble it and reassemble it with your eyes closed. It's a freaking gun and it deserves that level of care, proficiency and respect. And for God's sake, keep it locked up and away safely.
If you are even a little bit crazy, sad, or pissed off...you shouldn't have a gun. And the Founding Fathers would totally agree with me.
Stop being suspicious of American Muslims. I guarantee the guy sitting next to you in the cubicle at work is probably more of a threat to you than any Muslim. He has to listen to your uninformed ranting day after day and has probably already imagined very colorful and creative ways to end you.
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, and all the rest are ENTERTAINERS! Stop getting your opinions from them. (Here's where that reading thing can really be an advantage.)
Stop sharing Facebook memes that tell me to share or else Jesus won't bless me with a laundry basket full of cash. That's not how prayer works. And I don't want money delivered (even from God) in a laundry basket. Nobody ever washes those things out and they just keep putting nasty dirty clothes in them. Yuck!
We are the United States of America and we can afford to house every homeless veteran, feed every poor person, and take in every refugee and still have money left over for Starbucks and a bucket of KFC.
Unless you can trace your family line back to someone who made deerskin pants look stylish and could field dress a buffalo, you are a descendent of an immigrant. Please stop saying that immigrants are ruining our country. Such comments are like a giant verbal burrito stuffed with historical ignorance, latent racism, and xenophobia all wrapped in a fascist tortilla.
That's all for now. I feel better.
LaMonte M. Fowler
32 comments
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Jan 29 2019 05:54PM
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Intelligence: Here we go again
Yeah, Trump knows better than all of the US intelligence agencies.
34 comments
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Jan 17 2019 08:30AM
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Can't Rule Out Eorking With The Russians
Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani just said he can’t rule out that members of the Trump campaign may have worked with the Russians during the election. Now, I say this with love and respect, but if you still support Trump, you are an ass-eating, cock-sucking, cum-guzzling, stupid motherfucker. And I don’t mean that in a good way.
23 comments
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Dec 19 2018 12:29PM
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Primaries suck anyway
Looks like the Republicans won’t have to bother with presidential primaries for the 2020 election.
8 comments
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Nov 23 2018 03:51PM
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Is the nipple?
Can you really claim you saw the tit if you didn’t see the nipple? In my opinion, the nipple makes the tit. If I haven’t seen the nipple, then I haven’t seen the tit. And yes, for those who are wondering, this also applies to moobs.
Just my two cents.
15 comments
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Nov 14 2018 08:44AM
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New product idea
Somebody should make tater tots in the shape of a breast and call them tater tits. I’d by those.
21 comments
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Nov 12 2018 08:14AM
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A dog with its front right leg wrapped in a bandage...
... walks into an old western bar and says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
12 comments
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